If you don’t watch WWE programming, you may not be familiar with Fandango. He’s a pro wrestler slash ballroom dancer (no, seriously) who will only wrestle you if you pronounce his name properly. It’s not “Fandango,” it’s “FAAAAAAAHN, DAAAAAAAHN, GOOOOOO.” You really have to let the As breathe. His entrance theme is a wonderful piece of elevator music by WWE maestro Jim Johnston. Up until now, Fandango has only been loved by esoteric Internet weirdos like myself, who prefer niche, goofy character work to, say, The Rock saying he’s gonna turn stuff sideways and stick it up a guy’s ass.

Anyway, the crowd at Monday’s live Raw show changed all that. You can read about it in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw column, but here’s the short version: the crowd suddenly (possibly ironically) fell in love with Fandango, cheering him and singing his entrance theme. Well, humming it, because there aren’t any words. They started dancing around, and a phenomenon was born. His entrance theme (“ChaChaLaLa” … no, seriously) started selling like mad, and is still in a ridiculously high spot on most popular music charts.

To continue Fandango’s ascent into pop culture infamy, NFL cheerleaders have started doing the Fandango. Fandangoing, if you will.

When 51 Finalists competing to be Texans Cheerleaders paused from action last night… The most EPIC fit of #Fandangoing broke out at Practice! “No… no no no it’s…”

I knew there was a reason I loved this team. Here’s the video. Warning: You will be singing/doing this all day.

<33333

Now let's see the Houston Texas cheerleading hopefuls pin Kofi Kingston!

[h/t to Chris Jackson]

UPDATE:

The post A New Reason To Love The Houston Texans: Texans Cheerleaders Are Fandangoing (Updated) appeared first on With Leather.

As you may know, the Houston Texans cheerleaders are my favorite. They’re a fun bunch of ladies who aren’t afraid to Fandango on the Internet between the Monday Fandango was cool and the Monday he was violently ruined.

Here they are hanging out with the 41st President of the United States, George H.W. Bush, and his amazing, amazing socks. Look at those things. I bet even Derrick Bateman doesn’t own socks that patriotic.

President George H.W. Bush recently spent some time with the Houston Texans Cheerleaders and a few photos and videos were snapped. The former President was on hand to present roses to the newest selected 2013-2014 Houston Texans Cheerleaders. The President presented each of the 35 girls with a red rose, and also had time to thank the ones who visited him while he was in the hospital recently. (via Next Impulse Sports)

All political preferences and discussion aside, this is sweet. Here’s the follow-up picture, featuring George making a perfectly reasonable face to be made around a Houston Texans cheerleader whether you’ve been the leader of the free world or not.

Also included in the update is a clip from Vine, which I am officially too old to enjoy or understand. I was okay with Myspace and Facebook, I learned to love Twitter, but yeah, no, Vine makes me feel like I have Alzheimer’s. Like my brain has stopped functioning properly and I’m lost in a Spike Jonze movie or something.

BRB, while you enjoy this I’m going to order a gross of those socks.

The post George H.W. Bush Hung Out With The Houston Texans Cheerleaders, Did Not Fandango appeared first on With Leather.

Last year, the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders were a huge driving force behind everyone and their mothers making those “Call Me Maybe” videos that totally never got old at all. So how, then, would the wonderfully talented Dolphins ladies top that for an encore in 2013? By lip syncing to another ridiculously catchy pop song that gets stuck in my brain every other day – “22” by Taylor Swift.

Every time Swift’s Diet Coke commercial airs, this song sets up shop inside my head and I walk around mumbling the lyrics like a total doofus. But for some reason, I always sing the opening line as: “It feels like the perfect night, to dress up like Hitler…” I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m sure that’s something I can discuss with my therapist later today.

In the meantime, let’s watch the Dolphins cheerleaders dance around the Dominican Republic, shall we? Oh, and I hope you’re dressed up for this, because it is a GIF party.

And of course…

I know you don’t think “these women are willing to die for me” when you watch NFL Cheerleaders dance, but here’s a story to shake up your perspective.

This is Megan Welter. She’s a cheerleader for the Arizona Cardinals. She’s been dancing competitively since age 9. She’s also a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army, spent a 16-month tour in Iraq during the war and fought for our country on the daily.

Yeah, she’s pretty awesome.

Here’s a news report via Yahoo Shine conducted by ABC 15′s Craig Fouhy, a great reporter and one of my favorite System of a Down songs.

From the report:

Welter started doing baby ballet classes when she was 3 years old and danced competitively from the age of 9. After high school, she participated on her college dance team. When she graduated in 2007, she shelved her dreams of a career in dance. “The war was going on at the time when I graduated college,” she told ABC15. “I wanted to take a job that was going to be meaningful, so I decided to join the Army.”

Welter completed basic training and then enrolled in Officer Training School. “I was commissioned a second lieutenant at the end of April in 2007,” she said. “And from there I became cable platoon leader and I deployed a month later from Henning Air Force base] to my unit to Iraq.”

You can read the rest of the story here. If “being a cheerleader” and “serving our country” isn’t enough to make you like her, read that line about how the pre-game flag and anthem give her goosebumps.

You’re awesome, Megan. Thanks for doing what you do.

[h/t to Uff]

Well, THAT was quick.

Two days ago we shared with you the story of Megan Welter, the Arizona Cardinals cheerleader who spent a 16-month tour in Iraq. It was a celebratory story about a woman who went above and beyond to simultaneously defend and entertain her country. Today, seriously two days later, here’s Megan Welter’s mugshot. She’s been arrested in Scottsdale, Arizona, for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend. The entire thing’s on video. Welp.

AZFamily.com and 3TV broke the story this morning. Apparently the incident took place on July 20, a week before she was “discovered” and lauded nationally for being an awesome person. Man, it’s like the golden voiced homeless guy all over again.

Here’s the video report, featuring the clip of her beating up her boyfriend while yelling WHO IS SHE and demanding his phone.

According to Megan, her boyfriend is a fighter who tried to shoot tap her out to a triangle choke and threw her around in the bathroom. While that might’ve happened, the video of him going “JEEZ MEGAN STOP C’MAWN” while she threatens and attacks him is pretty damning.

Welter reportedly told officers her boyfriend attacked her first, pushing her and even choking her. According to the police report, however, there were no marks on her — no bumps or bruises, no signs that she had been hit or strangled as she claimed.

When Welter called 911, she told the operator that her boyfriend was a “professional fighter” and had “smashed [her] head into tile” and had put her in what she described as a “choke hold with his legs.”

I think the lesson we can all learn from this is, “never think a person is good, and if you do, don’t tell the Internet about it because their reputation will be dead in a week.”

[h/t to Ape]

It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a video from our old friends the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. The only thing they love more than the Dolphins is a good, out-of-date parody music video. Remember last summer when they dragged ‘Call Me Maybe’ out of the mothballs and made it fun and exciting again by adding hot girls in bikinis? Remember earlier this year when basically nobody was making Taylor Swift ’22′ parody videos and they said US TOO, and it was okay because they added hot girls in bikinis?

Here they are adding hot girls in bikinis to Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ video, just as it (and Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’) has begun to undergo the ritual of Carrousel. The mascot is there too so you know it’s a joke, and not something you’re supposed to masturbate to. Enjoy!

They may have been wearing more clothes than the girls in the ‘Blurred Lines’ video, now that I think about it. Ah well, thank God this was posted before today, or T.D. the Dolphin would’ve been riding a wrecking ball naked and giving blowjobs to hammers.

[BWO Next Impulse]

Be slightly happier than the Jags cheerleaders. Here’s how!
(via Getty Image)

You asked for it, so we’re bringing it back. In celebration of the NFL returning and making our lives better, we’re hitting week 2 hard with a free fantasy football game through our friends at Draftstreet. You can win your share of $1000. Fantasy sports. Cheerleader headers. TONS OF MONEY. Sh*t just got real.

It’s so easy you could close your eyes and click a bunch of buttons and probably score, but … uh, don’t do that. In association with UPROXX, sign up over at Draftstreet, pick your favorite week 2 NFL players before Sunday’s games and viola, you’ve got a chance to win your share of a thousand bucks. That’s easier than stopping Maurice Jones-Drew in week 1!

Trust us, this is the way to go. Since 2010, over $60 million has been won by DraftStreet players and over 250,000 people play the games weekly. That’s more money and coverage than most teams get. So seriously, head on over and get started right now. You’ve got no good reason to delay.

And if you do, we’re gonna bring in Tim Tebow and make HIM explain why you should play. Don’t make us do that.

(via Getty Image)

Disclaimer: Having lots of money is not a guarantee that NFL cheerleaders will date you. But it couldn’t hurt, right?

Last week we gave you a chance to win your share of $1,000 playing fantasy football with Draftstreet. This week we’re saying NUTS to the thousand dollars and shooting the moon, because the Drafstreet guys are running a contest where you can win A MILLION DOLLARS picking rosters and doing the same thing you’d do normally. A million dollars, you guys.

The rules are simple, and all you really have to do is click this link and sign up. It’s the start of something big for you. You’re getting your life together! When you’re a millionaire, you get to tell people you made your fortune with a bunch of well-chosen tight ends. How you want to define that is up to you.

Sign up quickly, though. Draftstreet’s sending 40 people to Las Vegas on December 15th to compete for $1,750,000 in prizes, and six people have already qualified. Basic math means you’ve got 34 remaining spots to compete for. Don’t wait until Week 8 or whatever when they can only send two people and you’ve got to perform like a miracle worker. Go. Do it. Seriously.

I mean, sure, the World Series is still going on, but does it involve a San Diego Chargers cheerleader hitting a home run and high-fiving the Jamaican bobsled team?

Welcome San Diego State University’s annual “Halloween contest,” a baseball game played entirely in costume, even if your costume keeps you from effectively playing baseball. Highlights include a double play involving both Buddy The Elf and Barack Obama, a man in a gorilla suit giving signs and the aforementioned Jamaican bobsled team trying to run the bases IN THE BOBSLED.

Via the YouTube description:

Members of the SDSU baseball team took part in the annual Halloween Baseball Contest and Game on Sunday afternoon at Tony Gwynn Stadium. The Red team beat the Black team, 5-3, in a four-inning affair. Players in costume ranging from Captain America to a Charger Girl to the Jamaican bobsled team made it a fun afternoon for all.

What’re the chances we could get the Red Sox and the Cardinals to say f*ck it and play game 6 like this?

The face of the oppressed.
(via Getty Image)

The Oakland Raiders had a complex and difficult season, what with all the Coliseum jumpers, middle finger raising and Guy Fieri appearances. If you thought that struggle was over just because the Raiders aren’t still playing football games, sorry, everybody.

According to a report from CSN Bay Area, the Oakland Raiderettes have filed a class action lawsuit against the team for not taking care of them financially and honoring those sorts of obligations that come with, you know, employing people and making them work and travel all the time.

The report:

Bay Area News Group first reported that a class action lawsuit was filed on behalf of current and former Raiderettes at the Alameda County Superior Court on Wednesday.

The suit alleges the Oakland Raiders failed to compensate their cheerleaders for hours worked, overtime, business expenses and failed to provide meal or rest breaks.

The case was filed by the law offices of Levy Vinick Burrell Hyams LLP in Oakland, and they claim the Raiderettes are paid $1,250 for working an entire season, which amounts to less than $5.00 per hour. According to the court documents, the Raiderettes sign a contract agreeing to receive their compensation at the conclusion of the season with their wages subject to fines.

If you don’t like the Raiders, hold off on the whole “laughing at them” thing … this lawsuit could be the first of many, spanning the entire league and anyone who shook a pom-pom off the company card.

A spokesperson for the Raiders declined to comment when reached by CSNBayArea.com. The Raiders might not be alone. It’s possible lawsuits like this could begin popping up across the league.

“We believe from the way the contract is written, and articles that we’ve seen, that this is a widespread practice throughout the NFL,” Vinick said. “We would encourage women across the NFL to come forward and challenge these provisions.”

While you contemplate the reality of a league at war with the women it pays to like it the most, enjoy this totally superfluous gallery of Oakland Raiders cheerleaders. TO THE LEGAL SYSTEM!

(via Getty Image)

(via Getty Image)

(via Getty Image)

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(via Getty Image)

(via Getty Image)

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Here’s a behind the scenes look at the 2013 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders calendar. Nothing gets me ready for planning the new year like a bunch of ladies leading nobody in cheers on a beach for no reason! Yeahhh! (via Terez Owens)

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Links

Colbert To Trump: I’ll Give You $1 Million If You Let Me Dip My Balls In Your Mouth |UPROXX|

Five Reasons Video Games Should Have Better Economies |Gamma Squad|

If It Ain’t Broke: Borderlands 2 Review |Smoking Section|

Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to play Conan the Barbarian again |Film Drunk|

Music Video Breakdown: ‘The Baddest Man Alive,’ by The Black Keys And RZA |Warming Glow|

Eliza Coupe Of ‘Happy Endings’ Has An Impressive, Double Entendre-Filled Instagram |UPROXX|

Hold On A Minute, Playa! This Video Will Now Be About The Teddy Long Tag Team Match! |With Leather|

“Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Russia.” Yes, that’s the real Die Hard tagline. |Film Drunk|

Cat Portrays Nine Lives Of Anime Characters |Gamma Squad|

Meme Watch: Everybody Loves Pablo Sandoval |With Leather|

MMA’s Weirdest Walkout Costumes |Cage Potato|

Live in the Futurama Studio |Unreality|

Beer Helmet of the Day |The Daily What|

2012 Pool Fails Compilation |Gorilla Mask|

The Ultimate Nutshots Compilation |High Definite|

Tina Fey On Todd Akin: “I’m Going To Lose My Mind” |Buzzfeed|

Has Anyone Ever Really Handed Out Poisoned Halloween Candy? |Mental Floss|

‘Skyfall’ & ‘Lincoln’ Posters Probably Shouldn’t Be Next To Each Other |HuffPost Comedy|

Where Are They Now? Five Minor John Hughes Actors You’ve Probably Completely Forgotten About |Pajiba|

As the editor-in-chief of a popular sports comedy blog, I get two kinds of e-mails: the ones from people who have no idea who I am, but want a link anyway (sample: “HI JOSH, Spring is around the corner, here are the 50 greatest boobtacular moments in sports”), and the ones from porn tubes who just learned something about sports and think I should know about it.

In the interest of passing my experience on to you, here’s a press release I just received from Pornhub, the visionary geniuses behind such clips as Hot Ass Naomi Russel in Fishnet Sexy F**king. They recently held a survey to see which NFL cheerleading squad fans most enjoyed seeing, and the results were … predictable. But hey, until that Chad Johnson sex tape deal goes through, Pornhub’s gotta do what Pornhub’s gotta do*.

*I probably do not need to see what Pornhub’s gotta do.

Pornhub.com, the premier online destination for adult entertainment, took to one of their world famous surveys to find out which is the most gorgeous squad on the gridiron – the results are as follows:

- Dallas Cowboys (54%, 1,274 votes)

- Houston Texans (13%, 315 votes)

- New England Patriots (13%, 295 votes)

- New York Jets (8%, 189 votes)

- Detroit Lions (6%, 135 votes)

- Washington Redskins (6%, 134 votes)

There you have it! The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders officially mounted the competition to snatch a tip-top spot in the mound.

I get it!

To test this theory, I’ve put together an impromptu slideshow of Dallas Cowboys cheerleader highlight videos and pictures of note. I don’t know how many I’m going to include, but I’ll probably keep adding and adding until HomeMoviesTube.com e-mails me their update about which European field hockey team is the most cuckold. Here are your 2012 season highlights so far, from Thanksgiving all the way back to the swimsuits.

Not included: those poor, poor guys jacking it to Lions games.

Don’t like reading horrible stories about former sports celebrities molesting children? HERE, HAVE TWO.

The first is Elizabeth Leigh Garner, a 42-year old former Tennessee Titans cheerleader, who is in trouble for getting drunk at a party, following a 12-year old boy (yes, a 12-year old boy) into a bathroom and trying to go down on him against his will. This is a thing that happened in real life.

“He stated she was asking him if he had ever been with a woman,” Roberts reported, adding the boy disclosed she then touched him inappropriately on the outside of his pants. “He also said she was making an attempt to take his shorts off …” and told the boy she would perform oral sex on him.

The boy told Roberts he became frightened and was able to get out of the bathroom and tell his mother. (via Black Mountain News)

That last sentence is such a ghastly reminder of how young a 12-year old really is. Her excuse is equally embarrassing, and the type of thing you can’t really make up.

“Ms. Garner, who was advised of her miranda rights, stated that she was drunk that evening,” Roberts reported, “and that she got the boy confused with a man who also at the residence.”

To her credit, it’s probably totally easy to mix up a grown man with a 12-year old who is sobbing and running off to tell his mother. Here’s a video clip of the story, courtesy of NewsChannel5.com:

While we’re on the subject of children getting molested, hey, remember Mark “Super” Duper? He was really good, right?

Now he’s famous for being that guy who was playing video games with a teenage boy, got mad at him about it and proceeded to beat him to near-death while yelling about murdering him. Super Duper, everybody!

“While playing video games with a friend’s children, Duper got into an argument with the victim when the boy refused to pick his hat off the floor, police say.

Duper then punched the boy in the face and slammed him to the ground several times, causing him to lose consciousness, police say.

After 10 minutes of fighting, Duper told the boy to leave his house, according to the arrest affidavit. The boy began to leave but walked back inside the house to grab a jacket, and he and Duper again began fighting. The boy’s father separated the pair when he saw Duper punching his son in a bedroom.

As the boy left the house, he pushed his bicycle into Duper’s vehicle, police say. Duper saw him, punched him in the face, and began choking him while the boy was on the ground.” (via News 4 Jax)

I hope that wasn’t Dan Marino’s bastard he was trying to choke to death.

Today’s lesson, if we can learn one, is that if you are a young person and know somebody who used to be in the NFL … I don’t know, stay away from them for a little while. I don’t want to read about Boomer Esiason getting into an argument about Mark Sanchez and kicking somebody’s baby.

It looks like we’ve got another person throwing their hat into the “call out Ronda Rousey” sweepstakes. This time, it’s Houston Texans cheerleader Antonieta Osuna.

She’s not just a cheerleader, though. Osuna, who also goes by “Miss Boxer,” is a former amateur boxer, having won a Texas state title back in 2005.

Osuna recently spoke with TMZ Sports and said she wouldn’t be afraid to step into the ring with Rousey, and she even offered insight into her game plan:

“If I can give her hooks and jabs and prevent her from taking me down, it’s possible that I could get her.”

My advice to Antonieta is pretty simple: Do not fight Ronda Rousey. It’s probably really hard to be a good cheerleader without use of both arms. If the fight does go down, my other advice is to not throw a flying knee at Ronda one second into the fight.

Maybe Osuna will fight Rousey on the same card as Chandler Jones fighting his brother Jon. Make a whole NFL versus UFC event!

NFL preseason games are often regarded as “meaningless” games, but Saturday night’s Rams-Colts game held quite a bit of meaning for one of the Rams cheerleaders. Candace Valentine has been separated from her husband, August, while he serves in the Army, but the two were reunited prior to the exhibition contest in St. Louis on Saturday.

August, who had been stationed in South Korea, returned home to surprise his wife in a special pregame ceremony arranged by the Rams, who documented the moment for us all to enjoy.

Homecomings like this never get old. Plus, is there anything more ‘Merican than a football cheerleader married to a military man?

With Halloween upon us, most of you are probably recovering from a weekend of cheap booze and heavy drooling over naughty *insert occupation* and, if you’re anything like me, you’re eager to shut all the lights off and watch Monday Night Football in complete silence. But if you’re one of those “adult” types and you didn’t get a chance to go out this week and ogle scantily clad girls who benefit greatly from masks and makeup, you can at least take comfort in know that some NFL cheerleaders are here to comfort you.

Specifically, the Tennessee Titans and Baltimore Ravens cheerleaders want to comfort you, because they were the only NFL cheerleaders that cared enough about their fans yesterday to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Like Batgirl above. She could be a Cyclops under that mask. Hell, she could be Richard Harrow from “Boardwalk Empire.” Either way, she’s the prime example of how Halloween should be done.

Today, we celebrate the efforts of the Titans and Ravens cheerleaders, and we cast our scorn upon the 30 other NFL cheerleading squads that were too cool for school.

(Images via Getty and our pals at Guyism)

Honorable mention to the Carolina Panthers, I guess.

Candlestick Park went blackout dark twice during last night’s Monday Night Football game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, and depending on your level of inner demons your brain should go to one of two jokes: “pretty funny that a place called ‘candlestick’ would burn out like that” or “did anybody get shot?” The second one isn’t a joke as much as a concern, but don’t worry, you weren’t the only one thinking it.

From the Associated Press:

Two power outages delayed the Niners’ 20-3 Monday night win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, first just before kickoff and again early in the second quarter after the stadium moved to a backup power source.

NFL security chief Jeff Miller said he witnessed a transformer blow up while he was monitoring a gate outside the stadium, where a shooting during the preseason already put a negative light on this venue.

Eventually the lights came back on and stayed that way, and San Fran rolled to a 20-3 victory. Nobody was injured or murdered (that we know of) and nothing had to be postponed, so the game’s legacy lies in a gallery of videos and images depicting sudden darkness, dogs being led around the stadium by policemen and a sad line of cheerladies who just wanted to put on their Santa Claus dresses and shake a pom pom for our enjoyment. Those are the real victims.

Anyway, please enjoy said gallery, and yes, the Santa dresses are in there.

[pics credit to Getty Images, AP Photo and Reuters Images]

The explanation.

The explanation, in handy gif form.

[gif via Mocksession]

This can’t be safe.

Especially anyone you’re standing beside in Candlestick Park.

The best reason for the power to come back on.

I’m sure there’s plenty of NFL news and notes to update today, but the majority of games were on Saturday and you’ve probably seen Jerome Simpson landing a flip into the end zone 600 times by now (if you haven’t, it’s here). What you may not have seen nearly enough of are NFL cheerleaders dressed in all of their best holiday attire during the NFL’s Week 15 and 16 action. And I know that most of them are dressed like Santa Claus to honor Christmas, but I say holiday attire because the Indianapolis Colts cheerleaders wore blue and white so they could technically be giving the NFL’s Jewish fans some bigger candles this Hanukkah season.

Among the teams to feature their festive females were the Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, Tennessee Titans, Baltimore Ravens, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Colts, Buffalo Bills, Oakland Raiders, among others. And even the Los Angeles Clippers’ dancers got in on the action, as if to say, “Merry Christmas, NBA fans who stayed up late to watch the newest media bandwagon darling lay a complete thrashing on the Golden State Warriors.” Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, indeed, friends of With Leather.

(Images via Getty.)

Whenever we cover a Taiwanese animation video at With Leather, I make a point to note that despite their absurdist imagery and general apesh*t insanity, the folks at Next Media Animation always make a good point. Whether they’re saying the Cowboys won’t win again until Jerry Jones dies or that the Saints bounty-gate scandal obscured the bigger picture, the wacky videos succeed because they’re taking the weirdest imaginable route to a logical conclusion.

That being said, the following video (informally titled “Granny Cheerleader: Hot Or Not?”) bypasses almost completely the story of 55-year-old Sharon Simmons’ quest to join the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad in favor of a soul-sucking theory, a Simon Cowell cameo and a baby exploding out of a womb like Chow Yun Fat and literally killing its mother’s dreams with a handgun. The larger point here is, “we are now all on drugs”.

Check out the full video after the jump.

Cool or creepy?

Creepy, assuming what you say about her hunching over and doing kick-lines without panties is accurate. I think the biggest laugh for me is the idea of a 37-year old woman needing to steal the souls of unborn children to look nice. And this video is coming from Asia, where women don’t start looking their age until about 65.

Regardless, I hope my first child is born like that.

Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ is the song of the summer. In 2012, “song of the summer” means it gets radio play for a couple of weeks in May, people like it, the Internet finds out about it and covers and parodies it into submission until you’d rather put the side of your head in a blender than hear it again. So far we’ve suffered through Mark Zuckerberg’s New England Patriots tribute ‘Call Me Brady’ and over a dozen college and semi-pro sports teams doing “viral videos” of the song in their buses, and that’s only the beginning. It is agony.

So it’s with an extra spring in my step that I present this video (with a h/t to Diehard Sport) of Miami Dolphins cheerleaders elaborately lip-syncing ‘Call Me Maybe’ for their 2013 calendar shoot. It temporarily saves the movement and proves an important point — if you do it it’s tired, but if a scantily-clad fitness model does it it’s gold.

Okay, maybe it isn’t gold, but it’s something to watch. Video is below. Watch it on mute if you have to.

Highlights include:

1. Cheerleader ballpit (!)

2. The cheerleader at the :40 mark pantomiming “baby” by cradling her breasts and rocking them to sleep.

3. 1:44, the fulfillment of that weird dream I have where an organization meet me, are smitten with me and request my presence at a later date.

If you haven’t, make sure you do that first. Earlier this week, the esteemed Mr. Ashley Burns put together an official With Leather guide to drafting your fantasy football team, dividing it up by position and using as many bikini model photos as possible.

– 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Knowing Your Quarterbacks

– 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Selecting Your Running Backs

– 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Receivers And Tight Ends

Now that you’re ready to draft an unbeatable team of Brooklyn Deckers, Adriana Limas and Kathy Irelands, put that to use with our totally FREE Week 1 fantasy football game with FanDuel.com. We’re asking you to draft a team for a one-night (technically two-night) competition starting on Sunday, September 9 and extending through the Monday game. Doing so gives you chance to win money from a $1000 cash pool for doing nothing but reading a little and having fun. It’s like being a blogger, without all the sadness!

Here’s how it works:

Remember, the game is for that Sunday and Monday, so players in the early week game won’t be eligible. But hey, that’s really your only guideline. Hop over to FanDuel right now and sign up for the easiest x-amount of hundreds of dollars you’ll ever earn. Don’t be that guy who waits until the very last reminder. That’s a total Kate Moss move.

Captain Fear from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and, more importantly, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders have produced their own Gangnam Style video. Somewhere the Oregon Duck is rolling his eyes and quacking about how he did this a month ago, when Gangnam Style didn’t get on everybody’s nerves. (via Bush League Chronicle)

– Follow us on Twitter @withleather

– Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy

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Links

Music Video Breakdown: ‘November Rain’ By Guns N’ Roses |Warming Glow|

America’s Latest Youth Scourge: ‘Butt-Chugging’ |UPROXX|

Ugh. Jaden Smith has a new music Video. |Film Drunk|

Hot Twitter List Buzz Words Top 25: Playmates I’d Like To Watch Golf With |With Leather|

Five Steps To A Great Horror Movie |Gamma Squad|

Rosa Acosta Adds Her Sexy Spin To Classic Movie Scenes |Smoking Section|

Bill Belichick Receives Relatively Mild Ginger Hammering |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

The Problem With The Emmy Awards In 5 Pictures |Buzzfeed|

12 Beloved Children’s Authors Who Also Wrote for Grown-Ups |Mental Floss|

“It’s kinda like that one time when I was dating that dragon queen from Game of Thrones” |Fark|

Epic Space Shuttle Shot of the Day |Daily What|

The 25 Greatest Signature Sneaker Lines of All Time |Complex|

25 Things You Hate Yourself For Thinking But Never Say |College Humor|

How I Met Your Mother In One Minute |Unreality|

11 Most Compelling Diner Scenes In Cinema |Pajiba|

“Hey Hey Hey Hey! What Is Going On Here?” (Supercut) |High Definite|

Watch a Bunch of Hot Chicks Violently Smash Office Supplies |Brobible|

If you click that photo, it sends you to that cheerleader’s Brazzers video. Just kidding, it doesn’t, but I hope you clicked it already.

Following my stellar 44th-place finish in our FanDuel Fantasy Football game on week 2, I’ll be signing up and finishing even better (read: way worse) in week 5. I know, I know, “44th-place” doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment, but me finishing 44th in a fantasy football game and winning money is the equivalent of a normal person winning an Olympic gold medal.

Week 4’s game has 555 available slots, and each player is allowed to draft up to three teams for $2 a pop. That gives you up to three chances to win $1000 in prizes. Not bad. Here’s how it works:

The game starts with Sunday’s kickoff, so be sure to sign up as soon as possible and draft your squad. Get in early to guarantee your spot in the game, then obsessively rearrange your roster until Sunday afternoon. That’s what I’ll be doing, at least.

SIGN UP HERE IF YOU MISSED THOSE OTHER LINKS

I really wish they let you draft a cheerleading squad.

If you missed out on yesterday’s announcement, With Leather is doing another week of FanDuel Fantasy Football, giving 555 teams the chance to win $1,000 in prizes. The sign-up this time is only two bucks, and you get up to three teams. You can edit them and rearrange them until Sunday’s kickoff, and then it’s in God’s hands. And by “God” I mean Tebow.

Here’s how we do it.

The game should fill up quick, so I’d recommend signing up using this handy-dandy link as soon as possible to draft your squads and guarantee yourself a spot. I finished 44th in the last game we did and still won money. That’s pretty efficient, right? Imagine how much you can earn if you’re GOOD at this.

Sign up now, friend!

Today in Extremely Specific Fetishes, we follow the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders into a haunted house at Busch Gardens’ annual Howl-O-Scream event. It’s the scariest thing the poor girls have had to do since somebody approached them and said, “hey, go do a stupid horse dance behind the mascot, we’re gonna make a Gangnam Style video“.

From the YouTube description:

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders challenged their fears inside the Dark Side of the Gardens at Howl-O-Scream last weekend. The cheerleaders toured the new houses Blood Asylum and Circus of Superstition 3-D.

In Blood Asylum, the cheerleaders ran from “The Creature” in a high-security asylum for the criminally insane. Then, in Circus of Superstition 3-D, the 14 cheerleaders faced 13 superstitions and crazed circus clowns in a 3-D tent of terror.

This is the fourth year they’ve done it, and frankly it’s a teen-boy-reading-Fangoria‘s dream. After the jump, you’ll find video of their … uh, “tour,” as well as a variety of photographs that prove once and for all that bright red lipstick and hot pants will not protect you from a werewolf attack.

[h/t to Terez Owens]